I'm talking with Jennifer because her book Women Are Angry: Why Your Rage Is Hiding, and How to Let It Out was just named The Times and Sunday Times Self Help Book of the Year for 2024. She also co-hosts the Women Are Mad podcast and runs a mental health platform of the same name.
When I saw her interview with Sam Baker on The Shift, I immediately connected it to my experience writing about anger for The Washington Post last spring. That piece, about yelling at my neighbor and the intense public backlash that followed, made me realize how deeply we need voices like Jennifer's right now. The comments section alone proved her point about how society responds to women's anger. (Read it at your own risk.)
Jennifer joined me from London, where it was 8:30 at night and she'd just finished seeing patients for the day. Despite the heat being cranked up (she mentioned being quite red-faced from it!), she brought such clarity to our conversation about women's relationship with anger, social conditioning, and paths toward authentic expression.
Highlights:
"It's alarming how similar the messaging is, how we've all cross culturally been indoctrinated in such similar ways." (15:30)
"We're not even really meant to say that we want something. I mean, that's outrageous if you think about it." (22:15)
"I think we repress it so successfully across the board." (24:40)
"My emphasis is really on getting rid of the damaging, the destructive levels of energy within us." (30:20)
"I want this to be a conversation. I don't want this to drive men and women into their different corners." (35:45)
Jen shares practical strategies for managing anger in professional settings, discusses the role of female community in healing, and explores how to maintain authentic relationships with difficult emotions while facing social consequences. She also touches on the challenges of being a public voice on these issues while maintaining professional boundaries as a therapist.
I'm so grateful for Jennifer's work and her willingness to put these messages into the world. The fact that we connected across such geographical distance but found such close alignment in our perspectives feels meaningful. Whether you're wrestling with your own relationship to anger or just trying to understand it better, I think you'll find something valuable in this conversation.
Good news for West Coast listeners: Jen is coming to California in March 2025 for events promoting her book!
In the meantime, I’d love to hear about other women’s experiences with anger. Is it accessible to you, or is it hiding? How do you feel when it comes up, both during and after?
Until next time,
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